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 Dear B—–,

Let me begin by apologizing.  Before you protest that I’m always apologizing you’re right but this one does need some explanation.  You see over the last few months I wasn’t in a good place.  In fact I was in a rotten one, a fucking rotten one.  Graduating college wasn’t the entrance into some new golden world as I had thought or dreamt it would be because I discovered the institution I had attended and hoped to teach at wouldn’t hire library-books-wallpaperme.  That resulted in a long period of joblessness which, while it saw a blossoming of writing, didn’t see anything in the realm of actual employment.  Add to that my wife was bouncing between jobs and encouraging me to consider teaching high school.  Now I hated high school and I hated being a teenager so imagine B spending the rest of my life in such an environment.  It didn’t get better after that despite the fact I was offered a teaching job at a local college.  I was lobbying Card_Catalog_Studentto teach there but as always no positions were available until one of the professors had a family emergency and needed someone to cover her classes till the end of the semester.  I hopped into the gig thinking that I would be teaching college students, when in fact, I wounded up teaching college students who were really just high school students.  The students didn’t want to be there and after just a few weeks I realized I didn’t want to be there either.  I realized day by day that I was miserable.  And then the depression kicked in.  Finding yourself huddled up in a ball and crying in a shower twice a week for eight weeks is a hell of a thing B—–, but it gives you some perspective.  It was near the end of the that semester that several of my friends, unbeknownst to me, had begun to lobby for me at the Tyler Public Library.  One of my friends is a full time employee there, and two others are part time, and because people tend to see something in me that I don’t they continued to lobby for me while I day-by-day began to realize that I actually wanted to work there.  I was ready to leave college behind and start a new path.  And when a temp job opened up I knew, for my own health that I had to take the library job.

This is a long fucking opening B—–, I know that, but I just wanted to offer explanation as to why I haven’t been writing back, and also why I decided to begin this enterprise that I’m starting with this letter.

You see you’d be surprised how many atheists and agonistics work at the library.  One of them is one of the friends I spoke of, and one night while we were closing we were 401px-God_is_not_greatdiscussing being atheists, the end of our faith, secular humanist mommy groups (that’s a thing, they exist) and of course Christopher Hitchens.  We briefly discussed the book god is not Great, because both of us had read the book and credited it as the document which helped us realize we were atheists.  I say realize because I distrust people who say they “became” atheists, it reeks of false conviction.  But as I was heading up the stairs towards the employee exit, I thought about our talk and I thought about our letters.  The first letter I ever sent you B—–, included a quote from god is not Great, and I recommended that you read the book.

What I’m offering now B—–, is the chance to read the book and talk about it chapter by chapter.  This could take a year, it could take only a few months, but I like the idea and I want to give it a shot.  So this first letter will address the first chapter of Hitchens’s book.

Although before we begin I have to tell you that your current girlfriend looks remarkably similar to Gal Gadot.  The Halloween party picture you sent where you were both Wonder Woman was just eerily similar and on an entirely unrelated note I cannot wait for the new Wonder Woman movie.  Wonder Woman, World War I, AND Gal Gadot.  Jammer be happy.


Picking up god is not Great has been a fascinating reminder of how much I have actually grown in my personal belief B—–, or lack of belief if you want to be specific.  I noticed myself reading the opening chapter and feeling somewhat stalled.  I feel lousy admitting that, especially about Old Hitch, but I think, to his credit, it’s because I’ve read so much about atheism because of him and so his initial arguments seem, to quote Aerosmith, like the Same Old Song and DanceWIN_20170321_14_19_46_Pro

Still if you’re reading this book for the first time, these ideas and declarations are bold and unsparing.  The first chapter, if you’ve read it already, starts off with a declaration of his beliefs that he titles “Putting it Mildly.”  What I love, from the start, is how Hitch recognizes that he’s going to be attacked the moment he hits the ground running.  If you don’t believe me watch how he starts the book:

If the intended reader of this book should want to go beyond disagreement with its author and try to identify the sins and deformities that animated him to write it (and I have certainly noticed that those who publicly affirm charity and compassion and forgiveness are often inclined to take this course), then he or she will not just be quarreling with the unknowable and ineffable creator Krauss-Hitchens-1200who—presumably—opted to make me this way.  They will be defiling the memory of a good, sincere, simple woman, of stable and decent faith, named Mrs. Jean Watts.  (1)

There’s a lot to get into in this first chapter B—–, and I can’t possibly cover all of it, but I wanted to start off with this quote because it provides insight to the reality facing out and about public atheists.  I’ve been fortunate in my life that I’ve avoided such treatment by supposed “believers” but that’s usually because I only inform people about my lack of faith to people I know and trust.  If a random Christian asks me about my faith I’ll usually just say something like “I was raised in the Episcopal church.”  I’ve found though sometimes that when I out myself as an atheist those people who are bothered by it will usually just ignore me and quietly pray for my soul.  But just because I’ve had it easy doesn’t mean that other people have.  Atheists are some of the most distrusted people on this planet, and I suspect the only reason I don’t have people writing me angry letters telling me to suck dicks in hell is because I’m just some shit-for-shit nobody with a shit-for-shit blog.

How many shits was that by the way, I lost count.  Must have been thinking about Gal Gadot again.  There’s this one picture of her wearing glasses and this nice hat…


Focus man!

What I like about this opening however is that, while it does acknowledge the tendency of many people of faith to demonize atheists it also reinforces an observation I’ve had, which is that real atheists tend to be those who’ve experienced real religious instruction.  Hitchens describes his early teacher Mrs. Jean Watts, as a sweet and kind woman who taught the children about nature and spirituality.  Hitchens was raised in this cosmos-ship-of-imagination-eye21environment and one moment was eventually attributed to his early skepticism:

However, there came a day when poor, dear Mrs. Watts overreached herself.  Seeking ambitiously to fuse her two roles as nature instructor and Bible teacher, she said, “So you see, children, how powerful and generous God is.  He has made all the trees and grass to be green, which is exactly the color that is most restful to our eyes.  Imagine if instead, the vegetation was all purple, or orange, how awful that would be.”  (2)

I suspect B—-, that every atheist has a moment like this.  I sometimes refer to it as the “aha” moment, but really it’s probably more accurate to call it the “really, oh for fuck’s sake” moment, because honestly that what you feel when it happens.  Or at least that’s what I felt when I experienced mine.  Unlike some atheists that will profess having some kind of dramatic realization, real mature atheism occurs, much like religious instruction.  It takes time, real study, introspection, and finally just one moment of initial skepticism.  I’ll never forget mine.

A preacher from the local Baptist church in town came by to deliver the sermon, and given the fact that I attended an “Episcopal” school I failed to really observe the fascinating dynamic of a Protestant sermonizing at a Catholic-Light institution.  He was a charming character and boomed rather than softly spoke, and the lingering sensation of him is the fact that I was wrapped up in his story.  It was the Loaves and Fishes tale retold from the position of a boy who happened to be at the scene retelling the event to his mother.  I was about twelve years old at the time, but I was transfixed by this man and his ability.  I wondered where the story would go, or how it would end, and even after I realized this was the loaves and fishes story I’ll never forget the moment when the man raised a finger in the air and spoke:d08c15f154e640d3eb3f61d4aa30732a

“And do you know who that man was Momma?  That man’s name?  It was Jesus Mama.  Jesus Christ.”

Something dropped into my stomach and I suspect it was the angels because that’s what it felt like.  It felt like I had finally woken up and seen Christianity for what it was, or at least what it had always been: a cheap sell using a piss-poor story.

Faith and belief was shown for what it was B—-, a club ticket rather than a spiritual tool.  It didn’t stop right there, and in fact it wouldn’t truly diminish until I read Hitchens’s god is not Great a year after graduating high school, but that moment of initial skepticism I believe is crucial and one of the reasons Hitchens makes it the start of his book.

Christianity is an institution, one that is wrapped up in almost every level of our culture.  I won’t compare the skeptics and atheists and agnostics to Neo in The Matrix because that seems too dramatic a metaphor, but the first moment sometimes does resemble that scene when he wakes up in the gel and looks around the world.  You begin to see how the power structure is embedded at every level.  It’s important B—-, to have a social network so that one doesn’t feel alone in the world, and while there is Twitter, YouTube, Reddit, Blogs, T.V. shows, and the internet in general, books can go a long way in helping someone reassess their beliefs or even just feel validated.1335318008774.cached

Reading this first chapter again I always remember that preacher and so there is an identification.  Christopher Hitchens and I went through the same experience and that makes me recognize that my skepticism isn’t something unnatural, it’s common.  That banalization is important for arguments I’ll try to get into later.

But this opening chapter is the first in what can really and should be called a kind of Manifesto.  The readers who pick up god is not Great are reading the work of a new generation of atheists who feel free enough to openly declare their sentiments, opinions, and belief without (much) fear of the societal rebuttal.  And Hitch, being the man that he was, decides to not spare anything and simply declare his sentiments to his reader:

There still remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum of servility with the maximum of awe_spacesolipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking.  (4).

These four points perfectly sum up my own position for why I believe religion is a dangerous institution.  You’ll note B—-, that I said religion and not god.  I’ve told you before B—– that the reason I don’t believe in god is not because of religion but from my own observations of reality.  Because there is no empirical evidence for the existence of a divine being I cannot in good conscience profess belief or even pretend to believe in one.  Likewise talking about the possibilities of such a being, or philosophy about that being’s intentions, from my perspective, is absurd.

It doesn’t matter the extent of god’s power because until there’s evidence for god’s existence there’s no point asking such questions.  To put it another way, it’s useless arguing how many angle could fit on the head of a pin, or what is the molecular make-up of a unicorn’s horn.  Neither have any solid proof of their existence so there’s no point having the conversation.

I take that back.  Unicorns exist.  They’re called Rhinos and they’re awesome.


This quote is vital however because it lays the foundation for everything that’s going to follow in Hitchens’s book.  He lays out his ideas in the form of a thesis and statement of belief so that the reader can determine what is his ultimate position.  Religion, and by extension god, are pollutants because they distract human beings from reality.  They make man the focal point, the prime locus of the entirety of creation, and that allows human beings the opportunity to perform vile actions because they are the chosen creation.  And, of course, this spawns dickish behavior ranging from murder, torture, rape, pedophilia, genocide, and wearing sandals with socks. (#Never Forget #Never Forgive).Hitchens-Christopher

I know the objection B—–, and I’m getting rather tired of it to be honest, but I’ll indulge it in the spirit of fairness.  The charge, by the casual believer, is that atheism is a religion too.  That atheists turn their godlessness into a kind of faith and that this in turn makes them just as much of self-centered assholes as religious people.

And you know, my problem B—–, is that most public atheists don’t really help me much here.  Bill Maher regularly turns his atheism into a merit badge, Richard Dawkins actually has little merit badge pins that are large red “A’s,” and David Silverman has tried to establish an atheist television channel, and Sam Harris is the textbook definition of a giant douche-bag.  The real problem is that most of the men I’ve just cited aren’t in fact atheists, but really more of anti-theists.  And even Old-Hitch himself fell into this category.

If I can save the man though, at least a little in your eyes, let me offer the second most important quote from this chapter:christopher-hitchens-evidence

And here is the point about myself and my co-thinkers. Our belief is not a belief. Our principles are not a faith. We do not rely solely upon science and reason, but we distrust anything that contradicts science or outrages reason. We may differ on many things, but what we respect is free inquiry, open-mindedness, and the pursuit of ideas for their own sake.  We do not hold our convictions dogmatically: the disagreement between Professor Steen Jay Gould and Professor Richard Dawkins, concerning “punctuated evolution” and the unfilled god delusiongaps in the post-Darwinian theory, is quite wide as well as quite deep, but we shall resolve it by evidence and reasoning and not by mutual excommunication.  (5).

In short B—– it goes back to a point I’ve made before in these letters.  Atheism, by it’s very definition, cannot be a religion.  It can most certainly be called an “ism,” and therefore should be looked on with skepticism.  But anyone who would argue that a lifestyle and philosophy can emerge from this position is fooling themselves.  Atheism is simply, or at least the way I’ve executed it in my lifetime, an absence of belief and faith in god.  That’s it.

I place whatever “faith” I have in this life, not with a god, but with facts, knowledge, data, and information.  I trust these because they are not determinant purely upon faith, but by real material reality.  A fact is determined by the collection of humanity observing the same phenomena and recording it, doubting it, testing it, and finally resolving it into reality.  That’s the way knowledge is produced, coallated, and recorded for posterity.960

I live my life now in the absence of god and there’s a lovely freedom to it that I’ll explore in later letters.  I just wanted to start here B—– with an understanding of what Hitchens believes atheism is and how he’ll go about arguing it, and whether or not I agree with his points.  I agree that Hitch can be abrasive, and there are certain elements of the text that I disagree with, but the quotes I’ve provided here  are used because they seem to perfectly reflect my position.  They did when I was a nineteen year old kid who had known nothing but the church, and spent most of his time reading with a heavy lump in his chest and crying while turning the pages.  It felt like I had finally found the voice I had been waiting for.  The person who had made the exact arguments I had been making in my head for years.writers-write

Which leads me to the final argument in this letter.  There’s a temptation to make the lack of belief and faith into some kind of dramatic affair.  It shouldn’t be.  And that’s the point.  Belief in the foundation of reality is difficult B—–, obviously, and unfortunately the arguments surrounding it have become wrapped up in emotion, politics, and power structures, so much so that, when a man decides to write a book criticizing religion he has to start the book by predicting a pushback.  I don’t ever want our letters to be as such, because I know you are a believer.  And so let’s hope in this correspondence for further dialogue rather than mutual excommunication.

Besides, even if we disagree about god we can both agree Gal Gadot’s going to be the best part of the new Wonder Woman and Justice League movie.  As if there was any doubt of that.


It may be a while till my next letter, but keep writing, I enjoy your responses.

Sincerely, yours in the best of confidence and support,

Joshua “Jammer” Smith






A while ago Cracked.com got into a bit of trouble because they posted an article about the way atheists communicate in public and why their methods were flawed.  This, to no one’s real surprise, created a bit of a tizzy by atheists themselves who proceeded to shit all over Cracked.  I haven’t gotten a chance to read it myself, but whenever people are offended or bothered by a piece of writing I immediately pick it up and read it because people always get upset for the wrong reasons.  Plus, discourse is important.  Enjoy:




I’ve also attached a link to a newspaper article from my alma matter UT Tyler.  A friend of mine was writing a piece about religion and college students and he wanted to get some of my insight about being an atheist.  It is, as far as I know, the only time my name has appeared in newsprint.  The article ends on a positive note about faith, which is rather annoying, but it’s still a well written article.  If you’re at all interested B—–, simply follow the link below.




I don’t really have anything to add here B—–, I just wanted to gush about the fact that Gal Gadot is playing Wonder Woman again.  I’m not obsessed, I promise, there’s just something….something….


Well shit I can’t remember.  What ridiculous fool I am.  At least I’m cute.